INFO YOU SHOULD KNOW

BUT YOU AIN'T 'SPOZED' TO KNOW

PhD- "PILED HIGHER & DEEPER" Be literate and impress your friends after only a month or so. No need for that four year education in the classics if you order the audiocassette program from Intelliquest called "The World's 100 Greatest Books." It cost US $ 250 and will take you a month or so to get through the IC cassettes where after you're ready to debate, a PhD in literature and kick some butt! Get the set from Herrington, 3 Symmes Drive, Londonderry, NH 03053, USA.

SHORT WAVE CONSPIRACIES - Most of EW readers are multinational short-wave listeners at some point in their life. Recently EW stumbled across a couple of neat stations that get away from the usual news and cultural type gibberish. The first station is found broadcasting at 5.81O Mhz from about OlOO GST. You'll find Kurt Saxon (of Poor Man's James Bond fame) has a one-hour talk show. You'll also find Radio Free America among other "different" type shows. The other unusual station is found at 7.435 Mhz. Again starting around midnight GMT. The fare a few lights ago was about "the worldwide conspiracy to control food production by using hybrid seeds" and the worldwide conspiracy to conceal the truth about crop circles." Boy, EW thought it was up on all the world's conspiracies but it seems that are a lot we don't know about! Dig out that old short-wave receiver for an entertaining evening away from the boob-tube

HATE THOSE SEAT BELTS - Even though we personally believe in the importance of wearing seat belts in saving your life in a crash, we get fed up like most EW's (Earth Wanderers) with the "for your own good laws." 'There is a little know provision in many US state laws and I would bet other country's laws that permit drivers who claim to be claustrophobic to obtain a note from their doctor identifying the condition. This note when presented to the local copper who stops you (and if he is up on the law or can be convinced it's not BS you're feeding him) should grant you immunity from the infraction.

HEY BIG CHIEF RUNNING NAKED - All you EW's (Escaping Wage slaves) know about Barry Reed's techniques for taking a Paper Trip route to a new identity. But if you want to paper trip with some benefits try becoming Chief Gotta New Name. See, in the USA anyone who is 1/4 Indian (no not from the land of cobra and wallah wallahs, but Ameri-Indians) is entitled to a special privilege card from the Dept. of Indian Affairs which among other things allows the holder to fish or hunt anywhere in the USA without a license, obtain free education for themselves or their children and other privileges. If you want to know all the benefits they can be obtained from the Bureau of Indian Affairs, Washington, DC. Probably want to sign your name as Harry Running Scared or some other such Indian moniker.

SEE THROUGH LETTERS - Ever want to read that letter your wife has written to her boy friend but don't have the nerve to open it. Just head to the local hardware store or air con repair shop or even some computer products store sand pick up a can of Freon in a spray can. When applied to an envelope, the paper becomes transparent and the contents easily read. When dry, the envelope will become opaque again, leaving no trace of the Freon.

ALL KINDS OF HOT TIPS OVER THE PROTECTED AIRWAYS -CRB Research (P.O. Box 56 Commack, New York 11725) sells an interesting adapter that allows a scanner to pick up cellular telephone calls. In the US and other countries the authorities, in the case of the US, the FCC, has forced 800 Mhz receivers off the market (the frequency for cell phones) so this adapter "adds" 400 Mhz to the frequency you scan on your receiver allowing the cellular phone calls to be picked up easily, while innocently scanning die 400 Mhz range. Cost is US $84.95.

OUT DRIVING YOUR FRIENDS - You can out drive the best of them on a golf course if you use the new Pirate 432 golf balls. They're illegal for use in USGA tournaments for they add 20-25 yards to anyone's drive by their innovative dimple design and a 4 gram weight increase over standard balls. But in your friendly foursome who's to know? They are available for $25 per dozen from Herrington,3 Symmes Drive, Londonderry. NH 03053, USA.

A SWEET BREATH FOR ALL YOU ALKIES - 'There is a new breath mint being sold in more and more liquor stores these days called "Nu-Breath." It doesn't advertise the fact on the package but its entire purpose is to mask the smell of alcohol on one's breath. Whether it's to fool mom, the wife or the nice police officer who pulls you over, it seems to do the trick. Not confirmed, but rumored it is rumored that Nu-Breath is also capable of fooling less sophisticated breathalyzers.

OLD POLISH WAKER-UPPER - According to our Polish Prince of Preposterousness there is a magic way to instant energy through a self-induced adrenaline release. There is a magic point on the palm of your hand that when rubbed for about 30 seconds, triggers the adrenal glands to pump adrenaline into your system. After doing this you should feet alert and alive and able to tackle any challenges coming your way. The spot is about 2.5 centimeters (1 inch) below the base of your middle finger, on your upper palm. When you have the right place, you' feel a bump which is part of the bone. With the thumb of the opposite hand, rub in a circular motion, counter-clock wise, for about 30 seconds or so. You need to press fairly hard to activate the adrenaline. Once you have finished with one hand, do the other. In about a minute you'll feel a sense of alertness and renewed vitality.

ENJOY A LITTLE HACKING NOW AND AGAIN? - A must read is the Hacker's Quarterly. This magazine is US $21 per year ($6 for a sample copy) available from: 2600 Magazine, P.O. Box 752, Middle Island, New York 11953, USA.

DOCTOR SCROTUM TELLS EW BHT CURES HERPES - With AIDS the main preoccupation of the wicker dippers, you don't hear much about Herpes the scourge of the early 70's before AIDS became the big boy on the block. Seems that the FDA won't approve the use of BHT as an effective treatment for herpes, since no appropriate drug company has made the appropriate pay off. BHT has proven an effective treatment of all herpes : infections, especially oral and genital manifestations. BHT is available at most health food stores, and is a common preservative in foods. Although the fact that BHT prevents the occurrence of herpes outbreaks has been reported twice in major medical journals over the years, the news has never been reported by the mainstream press, nor is it likely to with the proposed legislation to put a gag order on such claims. 250 mg taken before bed each night, will virtually guarantee the end of herpetic manifestations. Furthermore those who do not have herpes can insulate themselves from the possibility of contacting it from questionable sex partners by taking 250 mg each day as well.

OK , PEE IN THE BOTTLE - Smoke a little wacky tobacky and worried about your next pee-test. If you know when you have to take a pee test for your next job or whatever and you have some warning, there is the trick of putting salt under your fingernail and "accidentally" pissing on your nail while filling the bottle. This throws the test off and gives a negative reading. Won't work if they send someone into the cubicle to hold your hand while you pee, though. failing that there are some over-the-counter drugs you can claim to take that almost always give a false positive. Here is the
over-the-counter drugs and the typical period of time that they may be detected by conventional tests and give false positive readings. Vicks Formula 44 - 1 day; Triaminic DM -1 day; Primatene Mist -1 to 3 days; Dexatrim- 1 day; Co-Tylenol -1 day; Benadryl -1 to 2 days; Midol 1 to 3 days; Premasyn PMS - 1 to 3 days.

WELL THE BAD GUYS MIGHT HAVE KILLED SUPERMAN AND THEY MIGHT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR DICK TRACEY'S WIFE TESS FILING FOR DIVORCE AND THEY MIGHT HAVE CRIPPLED BATMAN AND REPLACED HIM WITH A NEW FLASHIER MODEL BUT...... THEY'RE NOT GOING TO PREVENT EW FROM TELLING YOU MORE THING'S YOU AINT "SPOZED" TO KNOW

CLEAR THAT CHECK FAST - In America and with many mail order dealers they don't accept a personal check drawn on a bank in America without first waiting for it to clear or checking with the bank first IF THE CHECKS NUMBER IS LESS THAN 150. Why you ask? For 90 percent of all bad checks written in America are written on checks with a number below 150. No manager of a business ever admits that the policy of not approving checks under number 150 or at least waiting for the check to clear in the event it's a mail-order item, but the policy is there. Obviously, to save yourself from hassle when opening a new checking account asked to have your checks start with 1001 rather than 001 claiming that your computer recorder system is based on 4 digits numbers and won't accept anything with 3 digits or if the bank insists on starting you with 001, and gives you the usual 100 check starter kit. Just start with check a few checks in the 90's and then order new checks. The second batch will get you over the magic 150 number. Remember the trick is start writing your checks with the highest number possible for it looks like you have a stable banking record to be with a bank so long as to have written 1000 or more checks.

CASH ISN'T KING ANYMORE - As EW has said time and time again. Banks don't even like to give it to you. Here is a trick that will work with US and probably banks all over the world that have a regulatory authority. When you walk into your bank with a large certified check on the bank that it was drawn on , say like our friend did for US $40,000, and wanted cash for it, you probably will be told the standard story the tellers are briefed to say "that it's not possible for we don't keep that much cash on hand." Here's what you do. Say "fine," just give me what you can spare in cash and the rest in a cashier's check payable to me." The clerk will usually offer 5-10,000 in cash in Federal Reserve notes and the requested check. Move to the next teller and tell her you want to cash the cashier's check you just received. She will tell you almost certainly that it's not possible and you counter by saying that you want to see the manager for the bank is issuing cashiers checks without the cash to back it up and that you are going to call immediately the State Banking Commission for violation of state and federal statutes. Surprising how the money is suddenly found to pay you off.

ADD MUSCLE AND BURN FAT THE EASY WAY - Body builders have known the shortcut to doing this by adding amino acids such a L-Arginine and L-Ornithine to their daily diet. These Amino acids work even while you sleep. Many test cases have shown that even without a drastic change in diet and physical exercise 20 pounds can be lost fairly quickly by adding only 1000 mg of L-Arginine to your daily routine each night before going to bed. Most people are shocked at the results when they start experimenting with amino acids for the first time. Fat seems to melt off their body while muscle mass is gained relatively quickly. Since amino acids like the one mentioned above exist naturally in the body, they are completely safe. The supplements can be bought from all health food stores. The best part we have saved to last. If you're male, taking 1000 mg of L-Arginine about 1/2 hour before sex increases your staying power up to 300 percent. All clients including a famous author notorious for his "way" with women have reported very positive results.